Growing up I had this crazy idea that we get to pick our own destiny with a flick of a wand. A little voice at the back of my head always hinting that if my good deeds outweigh the bad, then heaven will be the place I end up.
The recipe for success was very simple, I just had to be a good little man. I did try as best as I could to be friendly, giving to the poor and helping the helpless. The path I took required total obedience and innocence, purity. Someone of this caliber definitely deserved to be in heaven. They worked hard to get there, a backdoor to eternal life,hence felt entitled. It had nothing to do with faith.
I did not wish to have faith and believe in Christ for then it would mean believing in right and wrong. This would show how messy my track record was, digging out the little holes I had tried to cover with good deeds. I was not ready to be called a sinner and be bound by God’s law. My way made sure I choose what was wrong and right based on my feelings, experience and arguments. In that case I could never sin. There were no rules but my own.
Once a friend told me I was going to end up in hell. My answer was I won’t for I did not believe in heaven, God or the devil. How can one go to a place they don’t believe exist? And I also remember telling someone that if the devil had a face it would definitely be mine.
There always comes a point when illusions fade, and one gets to see the harsh reality around them. Bad always trails after good and the storm caught up with me. The roof was ripped apart and the walls tumbled down on me, trapping me underneath the rumble. Nothing had ever prepared me for this. Then again no one is ever prepared.
Every dream I had faded, and the little hope I had was crushed. My friends scattered away from the blast, living my soul to die all alone. But there was something that kept me from being lost in the darkness, hope. My hope had been crushed but it still radiated, hope that there was something more to life and that there was SOMEONE out there looking over me.
A voice told me to FEAR NOT, that everything will be fine if I just had faith. That reminded me that I was down and not out, and with that strength I came back swinging.
All the above was driven by a sermon i once heard about REPENT or PERISH. These are two words on opposite sides, proof that God indeed gave us free will. We should purify our hearts and come to him as children, remembering the SON who was sent to die for us (John 3:16)
The tickets into heaven cannot be bought for God through His grace gives them out as gifts for those who believe. No more worrying about living this life to its fullest for everything has been done. All we need is faith in God and believe in what Christ did for us on the CROSS.
It was foolish for me trying to rewrite the definitions o right and wrong whilst I am an imperfect being. Right and Wrong never change according to how a person wants to see them. And this is the illness around the world today.
Christianity is about the blunt truth which should never be bent nor sugar coated. Yes it says we are all sinners and deserve to burn, but it also talks about SALVATION for all human kind (THE GOOD NEWS).
I did die once in my life and that was to myself. Now I live for the Creator who handcrafted me, being devoted to pursuing Him even thou He sort after me first. And this beats all plans I had for myself for there is a grand plan out there for me. My good deeds now are to glorify God and never about proving myself worthy.
My life is currently imperfect and as chaotic as it gets, but a broken life with Christ in me is better than a perfect one against God. We all have a choice, REPENT or PERISH. I repented and made a commitment to follow God.
The story shall still continue….. Stay blessed everyone.. The video below just does it for me this moment